Do you miss passion and intimacy? Then read on…
Men and women have more freedom to be and do what they want than every before. Traditional roles have become blurry and crossed over. More and more women are climbing the career ladder, start their own businesses and lead people. And more and more men go into arts, take care of home and the family.
And it’s great. I’m proud of the progress we’ve done in enabling true expression of our selves.
But there is a price we pay.
Something no one has ever warned us about.
That price is our intimate relationships. Our passion. And love.
There is an unsetting correlation between how free we are to live our lives on our own terms and… how unhappy we feel at home.
We’ve done so much not to be defined by our gender, but it’s cost us our intimate happiness.
Women long for a true warrior – a strong, determined man who will take care of her, who will be in charge, and who’ll make her feel safe. Instead, they get men who don’t take initiative, or won’t even open the door for them, afraid to be accused of sexism.
And men long for a Goddess, the one who freely expresses herself, who flows and radiates light. Instead, they often get a tensed, cold, goal-oriented woman.
The challenge in a modern world is…
How can we keep evolving and chasing our dreams without sacrificing our love life and passion?
What makes us successful and happy at work is NOT the same that will make us happy at home. In fact, these are rather opposite.
Let me tell you a little secret about love and passion… What makes us attractive, what builds desire and creates that butterflies feeling in your stomach is the tension between the masculine and the feminine energies. The more polarised your energy and your partner’s, the more desire, passion and chemistry you’ll feel.
So if you stay in your masculine during the day, when you finally meet with your man, there is no tension.
You gotta go back into your feminine, darling!
You have to relax into your deepest essence, the Goddess within, and let her shine and dance freely!
I want to share 5 quick and simple ways to do that:
#1. Take 5 deep breaths through your mouth
Close your eyes. Place your palms on your lower belly and take 5 deep breaths with your mouth. On the inhale, let your breath press against the hands, as if you were trying to push them away from your body. On the exhale draw the bely button into your spine. This is active breathing and it’s meant to engage your muscles, so it may feel a bit tiring.
This simple technique is the #1 tool to step back into the feminine and here is why.
Feminine is about being in the body, alive and relaxed. Breathing releases tension and relaxes your body. It’s the life force energy that keeps us alive. And it reconnects you to the body. Closing your eyes and placing your palms on your belly allows you to sense your physical form even more. It activates your senses and muscles. Breathing through the mouth allows for more oxygen to enter your body and hence faster release of any stress.
#2. Feather touch
Gently, rub your arms, legs, face and any other part of your body you have access to. The touch should be very soft; it should feel as a feather. You can scratch, rub and touch your skin, changing the strokes and intensity. Find what you like and just enjoy it for a few minutes.
You can do that anywhere! In a meeting, stuck in traffic, watching a movie and even eating.
See if you can make it a habit of gently touching yourself whenever you can. This will keep you in the receptive and open state throughout the day, will make all sensations more powerful and will add just a little bit of physical pleasure to your daily chores 🙂
Oh yeah, baby! Just lift those corners of your lips up and make a sound! Laughing puts you back into your body, and… it puts you back into that blissful innocence you used to feel every day as a child.
That innocence, that joy, that ‘not-caring-and-doing-it-anyways’ are the qualities of a true, free feminine. Be carefree, my love.
#4. Stretch your spine, arms and legs.
The masculine energy is concentrated, still, focused and tense. To enter into your feminine, you need to start moving that energy. Stretching unlocks the energy pathways (called meridians in Traditional Chinese Medicine and nadis in Ayurveda). Imagine trying to pomp water through a [szluf] which is all knotted and twisted. And then imagine stretching that [szlauf]. That’s what happens to you energy when you stretch your body.
Some good stretching includes lifting your arms to the sky, twist your torso left and right and bending forward.
#5. Touch a tree, grass or plants.
Nature is feminine; its whole essence is about changing, being alive and radiating light. So if you want to feel that in you, simply touch nature. She is abundant and generous and will happily send you some of her energy.
You can walk barefoot on the grass, hug a tree next to your house, pet the leaves of your plants or gently brush the petals of your garden flowers.
Try doing any of these 5 things before you get home and see your man. Or before going on a date. Or even – throughout the day. They will help you stay connect to our body, will heighten your senses and open you to receiving.
And once you try them, let me know how it felt and how it impacted your interactions with men.