Last week I shared tips for women on how to keep their intimate life full of passion. This week I will share tips for men, because business of professional life impacts you my dear gentlemen just as much.
After a full day in the office, you’re exhausted, and instead of enjoying passionate sex with your woman, you come home only to hear more demands, feeling more tired, and just wanting to close yourself in a room away from her. I understand it, we can be quite bitchy and annoying. However, what I wish more men understood, is that how your woman behaves is dictated by how you treat her. So if you know how to make her feel important, loved and sexy, you can enjoy just as much passion with her, as you did when you first met.
Men dream of being able to lead their women far, into the wildness and passion. They want a woman who is open, flowing and radiant. A woman who is confident in her sensuality and is not afraid to let go.
The good news is – women want that just as much! But in order for us to be able to step into this place, we needs to feel safe. And that’s the key.
We need to feel you are strong enough to hold space for us. To handle our wildness, our emotions, our power. Show us you can be fully present, and you will be rewarded with the most amazing, passionate sensual experience.
But here is what most men forget… Holding space for women starts way before getting into bedroom. The way you show up for her throughout the whole day will lead to either a whole evening full of passionate sex, or falling asleep frustrated and tired.
There are two parts to every woman. There is a little girl, who needs nurturing, and then there is a passionate lover. And she needs you to cater these both sides of her. If you want the passionate lover to come out, you need to make sure she is in a good place emotionally and spiritually. For women everything is connected. If she got upset a few hours before, it will affect her sex drives. A small thing can trigger her fear of being unloved, and she will close her heart, and will not open to you. This is why a man needs to learn to come always from the place of understanding and love. No matter what has happened to shut her down, you have the power to bring her back.
Here are 6 things you can start doing right now to guide your woman back to her heart, show her you are there for her, making her feel safe – and ready to let the wild side out.
1. When she talks, listen.
Most men cannot understand how it’s possible to talk as much as women do and so they drift away and start thinking of something else.
Women experience much more emotions, and they need to be able to release them. Talking does just that. Even if it seems pointless to you, for us it’s very important. It’s how we bond with others. If we are talking to you, it means we feel good in your company, we want to open up to you and we want to connect with you. If you start ignoring us, looking to the side and not listening, you are basically communicating that you’re not interesting in bonding with a woman. All it will do is make a woman shut down. But if you stay present, and listen deeply without distractions, we will fall into your arms.
2. On the note of listening… Please, please resist the urge to solve our problems!
When we share, we do it because we simply want to let it out. We are telling you about the unpleasant things that happened, because your presence gives us the warmth we need to feel better – not for you to fix anything.
The difficulty comes because the masculine is always looking for ways to be efficient and reach the goal. But the feminine flows like water, is all over the place, and is resisting any form of release or goals.
So if you can hold space for your woman, just listen, just be, looking into her eyes, holding her – she will reward you with her beautiful energy and passion.
3. Be decisive.
I have met so many men who try to be polite and let a woman make all the decisions. They don’t want to be imposing, or perceived as uncaring.
But here’s the thing. You being decisive is what makes you attractive! This is what masculine is all about. About setting a goal, staying committed and sure of that goal, so that the feminine can relax and let you take her where you want. And it so matters in all the little things in the daily life!
Be the one who proposes things. The worst thing you can do is say “Oh I don’t care honey. whatever you want to do is fine with me”. No, no, no! That immediately pulls your woman out of the feminine and makes her step into the masculine essence. And now all polarisation and passion are gone.
4. When she gets emotional, stay with her.
Men usually leave when their woman becomes emotional. We are different, and it’s one of those things men just can’t understand about women. You don’t understand why all of a sudden we get sad or angry. You don’t see any logical reason in our behaviour, so you decide to leave. That’s the worst thing you can do.
Whenever we get so emotional, it’s because on some deep level we feel unloved. Maybe we didn’t get enough of your attention and our heart starts panicking whether we are still important to you. If you leave in this moment, you are only making this feeling worse.
The best thing you can do, is come to your woman, hug her and tell her you love her. She may try to push you away, but stay with her. Stay still and hold space and you will see how easy it is for her to calm down. Just as fast as women can get angry, we will get soft and sensual. We have the ability to change that fast, so guide us into the state that opens the door for passion and intimacy.
5. Slow down.
Women’s sensuality works different than yours. We need time to warm up, and even more to reach the peak of pleasure. For men 15 minutes is enough, for women – 30 minutes at least. So when I say slow down I don’t mean spend extra 5 minutes of foreplay, I mean turn sex into a long, pleasurable experience, with no goal and no timeframe. I know for men it may be difficult, so explore different form of pleasuring each other – long make out sessions, sensual massage, hugging. Change pace and ways of connecting. Giving her space and time to experience anything that is building up in her is the best way for her to let go of any self-control and let the deep passion take over her.
6. Touch her… a LOT!
Touch activates our Heart Chakra. If you want your woman to open up, simply touch her body. Embrace her and hug her, especially letting your hearts meet. This creates the bond on the heart level, increases sensuality and openess. Use feather touch – a very soft touch – on her arms and legs. Kiss her neck. This is also a beautiful foreplay, just make sure not to rush anything. Women sense that immediately and it makes us close down. So take your time and offer your touchas a gift with no expectation for anything in return. Continue for 15 minutes or longer if your woman needs more time to relax and open.
With these 6 things, you just might enjoy the most passionate relationship, whether you’ve been married for 20 years, started dating a new girl just recently, or are single. Every woman will deeply appreciate if you show her that kind of love and presence. We all desire our man to treat us like this, we just don’t always know how to ask for it.